Xanadu In, Summer Out

With the arrival of the XANADU cast yesterday it seems that summer has finally come to a close. I always knew it would happen, even if the climate change and weather patterns hardly reflected it, when our big holiday musical came to town. This meant a long day in the van with much frantic running around, but an overall smooth landing for nearly everyone involved. All that on the road time did get me thinking about the radio I've been subjected to since moving to California and driving in the vans all day long. Summer radio has to be the worst. It's unimaginative, overplayed drivel that makes some artist careers off dinky one-hit-wonders and makes most of us cringe to the point that we'll take the commercials where the two people are fighting over something any day.

Keeping that in mind, I present to the 5 Best and Worst Songs from the Summer of 2008:

The Best

1) "Look Out Young Son" -- by Grand Ol' Party. Probably not the most mainstream song across the country, but here in San Diego, where Grand Ol' Party is from, this song broke up the monotony of summer strumming tunes. It's got blue grass inflections over classic rock riffs and who wouldn't want to date the devil's daughter?

2) "Paper Planes" -- by M.I.A. Yes, yes, yes this isn't exactly a new song, but thanks to it's includement with the "Pineapple Express" movie trailer, a Sri Lankin terrorist's daughter became a household name. With good reason: it's so catchy it gives you heatstroke. Just try listening and not pumping your hand back with your trigger finger.

3) "Whatever You Like" -- by T.I. I'm usually not that big of a T.I. fan. Nothing against him, it's just until I heard this song I didn't really respond to what he was saying or how he was saying it. This song is pretty typical: girls, money, gangsta shit, etc. but T.I. is smarter to take the music to another level along with his lyrics and with a prison stint looking to come in his near future, this might be a farewell for now single that leaves us wanting more.

4) "Bottle It Up" -- by Sara Barellis. Look, "Love Song" was great until it wasn't (see more on that below) and this one could technically be called that love song she didn't want to right, but that's not digging deep enough. Barellis is smarter than all of us because she's still not giving us the typical romantic serenade about "girls across the nation who'll eat this up" and "you're shit out of your luck" but we all think she's talking about "love, love, love."

5) "A-Punk" -- by Vampire Weekend. Another hipster band that hipsters can be all hip about? Not so much. This song actually took a creative bend and combined mainstream rockband chords with hipster lyrics and mentality. It goes down delicious, even if the words to the song really don't make a hell of a lot sense (but then again, what song really makes sense?).

The Worst

1) "Dangerous" -- by Kardinall Offishall feat. Akon. How many times did it played? Way too many than it deserved. Probably the saddest thing about the last ten years of rap music is how overused some artists were for hooks (this being Akon, Lil' John, Lil' Wayne, and every other scratchy voiced singer who was featured on hip hop songs). The beat was uninspired, the lyrics and rhymes even more so. Example: "I can't help but notice you/noticin' me/noticin' you/noticin' me..." Now, just have that replay in your head for an entire four months and you'll know why this song is number one for the worst radio single this summer.

2) "A Milli" -- by Lil' Wayne. Speaking of Lil' Wayne...God, how could anyone have come up with this song? The track behind tha Carter's voice is some guy repeating "Amilliamilliamilli..." for a whole 3 minutes. Perhaps he's proving that he could say anything and the world would lap it up, but honestly, who doesn't know that audiences will eat what they are told. Perhaps Advil paid him a chunk of change to produce the song in order to boost sales of headache medication. That seems more likely.

3) "I Kissed A Girl" -- by Katy Perry...and I sorta liked this song when it came out. Yeah, it was raunchy, hardcore girl-on-girl action. That was June, this is October, when the song was milked for all it was worth and I was witness to numerous drunk girls pretending to lock tongues in clubs just to prove that they could kiss each other and pretend to like it. For a better version, check out SNL's version of "I Pet a Cat and I Liked It".

4) "Love Song" -- by Sara Barellis. We all know by now that she's not going to write us a love song. That it was based on the fact that record producers wanted her to write a love song. That this is what we got instead. Novelty officially worn off.

5) "Keep Bleeding" -- by Leona Lewis. It came close to calling "American Boy" by Estelle Feat. Kanye West the last on the list, but really, that song is just overplayed. This one is over produced, over the top melodramatic, and annoyingly clingy while putting the listener to sleep. Ever seen the music video? Leona Lewis looks bored during her own personal drama. Zzzzzz....

Seeing how this is the week of Yom Kippur, I apologize to all artists in advance for saying my harsh words. I have no problem with pop music. In fact, I love pop music. I have so much pop music you wouldn't believe. But there is a standard that radio music should live up to, if not for the intergrity of the artists or their work, then the Sarah Palin mentioned Joe Sixpacks such as me, who are stuck in the cars all day and looking for a little bit of entertainment. For the future, kissing a girl might feel like a milli, but it's very dangerous to write such a love song that will make our wrists keep bleeding.