Nebraska, man, where have you been all of my life?
Currently I'm in northern Omaha for the Great Plains Theater Conference, working as a panelist for new plays and getting set to workshop another draft of My Friend Dahmer. Thus far, it is great. Everyone here is incredibly nice, helpful, excited, and passionate about theatre, sometimes to an unbelievable degree.
They've put us up in these awesome 19th century colonial type buildings that look like you could either stage a creepy horror film in or that you would want filled with aristocrats and high society ladies, smoking cigars and laughing about business. A lot of people I've met have been older and, of course, more accomplished, but there is a small group of younger writers like me who are still trying to find our way.
One of the best guys I've met here (if I had to narrow it down) is this guy Mark, who lives on floor below me. He's just a low-key guy from Chicago who got into play writing late, but must be very talented since his second play is on the main stage this weekend. Another main stage writer and delightful human being is Jessica Jill, who has been my companion through Omaha's number one gay club, late night porch drinking, and a victim of Cuban Eddie's ego gun in the classroom. Networking -- who knew it could be this much fun?
Yesterday I sat on a panel for four plays, all of which were solid, and two I really enjoyed. Again, Nebraska, where have you been all my life. I was a little worried about my play, however, as the director has been quite busy and he's doing my show, plus another one at the same time. But all my fears subsided when I got an e-mail that I have rehearsal in...well, just a few hours to be exact. Dahmer rides again!
Can't say enough about a state primarily known for its corn and for its having nothing to do. In reality, it is a chill place with fantastic people, delicious food (The Upstream), and dedicated theatre freaks, just the way I like them.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Lie To Me (But Not My Folks)
I did not think it would happen, but this truly is the year of the ox, according to my friend Ian’s mom. She said I would have a good year in 2009 and while it has been a rough start, the bull is finally coming home (not on Wall Street, on my street!).
Last week I got a call from Sony Online Entertainment—a call I had been waiting for a while. It was funny because Dave told me that he received a memo stating I was to be trained on May 26th. I was truly excited, if not a little conflicted, because even though I am not a fan of my current job, it is better than nothing. After consulting with my mom and dad, I decided to go for the gold and switch to Sony.
I called back and asked if they would be willing to push my training back to June 1st, when I return from Omaha. The answer was decidedly less than what I had hoped for. I guess they needed someone right away and if I could not train on that day, then they could not offer me the job.
Bummed is a light word for it. I felt really crappy that the timing was so bad, but the lady who hired me, Suzy, was really awesome and said she could call me next week or the one after that and something would come up. Sony still wanted me.
To make matters worse, my aunt practically tore me apart for not taking the job. I explained that I was not going to give up the Great Plains Theater Conference after they had been so awesome in getting me to Omaha and putting on “Dahmer.” From a woman I consider more a sister than an aunt, I was told to lie to my parents about getting the job. She called again and said the same thing the next day, Mother’s Day, before I had even had a chance to tell my mom that she is the mother of all mom’s.
“Don’t tell her—it will just depress her.”
When I finally did tell them, they were fine with the decision. My dad said, hey, it is my life now and I can do with it what I want. The next day I was sitting for three hours in M.A.P.’s office, starting to crack the 86 blogs that of mine that he had to review (we only got through about 10 of them in that span of time and right now I believe there are 126 ready for his approval), when I missed two calls. One was from Dave, saying they were fine with hiring me and starting on June 1st. The second was Suzy calling to confirm it, saying, “Boy, I just knew this was going to happen.”
Me too…I just did not think so soon.
So, this week I go into my last week of SEO blogging and personal injury insanity, but, to be honest, I’m going to miss it. It was really a crazy place to work and despite all the weird rules and one crazy person in charge of it all. As for my aunt and I, well, we are back to being cool with each other. The second time she called, I kind of got a little mad and said I was not going to lie to my parents about a job and that somewhere down the line it would work out. I am happy I was right, but I am also kind of upset that it had to come to strong words between the two of us.
However, it is the year of the ox and good stuff is currently happening all around—why dwell on the bad?
Sony, baby, Sony…
Last week I got a call from Sony Online Entertainment—a call I had been waiting for a while. It was funny because Dave told me that he received a memo stating I was to be trained on May 26th. I was truly excited, if not a little conflicted, because even though I am not a fan of my current job, it is better than nothing. After consulting with my mom and dad, I decided to go for the gold and switch to Sony.
I called back and asked if they would be willing to push my training back to June 1st, when I return from Omaha. The answer was decidedly less than what I had hoped for. I guess they needed someone right away and if I could not train on that day, then they could not offer me the job.
Bummed is a light word for it. I felt really crappy that the timing was so bad, but the lady who hired me, Suzy, was really awesome and said she could call me next week or the one after that and something would come up. Sony still wanted me.
To make matters worse, my aunt practically tore me apart for not taking the job. I explained that I was not going to give up the Great Plains Theater Conference after they had been so awesome in getting me to Omaha and putting on “Dahmer.” From a woman I consider more a sister than an aunt, I was told to lie to my parents about getting the job. She called again and said the same thing the next day, Mother’s Day, before I had even had a chance to tell my mom that she is the mother of all mom’s.
“Don’t tell her—it will just depress her.”
When I finally did tell them, they were fine with the decision. My dad said, hey, it is my life now and I can do with it what I want. The next day I was sitting for three hours in M.A.P.’s office, starting to crack the 86 blogs that of mine that he had to review (we only got through about 10 of them in that span of time and right now I believe there are 126 ready for his approval), when I missed two calls. One was from Dave, saying they were fine with hiring me and starting on June 1st. The second was Suzy calling to confirm it, saying, “Boy, I just knew this was going to happen.”
Me too…I just did not think so soon.
So, this week I go into my last week of SEO blogging and personal injury insanity, but, to be honest, I’m going to miss it. It was really a crazy place to work and despite all the weird rules and one crazy person in charge of it all. As for my aunt and I, well, we are back to being cool with each other. The second time she called, I kind of got a little mad and said I was not going to lie to my parents about a job and that somewhere down the line it would work out. I am happy I was right, but I am also kind of upset that it had to come to strong words between the two of us.
However, it is the year of the ox and good stuff is currently happening all around—why dwell on the bad?
Sony, baby, Sony…
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Hiatus Ends, Work Begins
See, I don't really need this blog any more. Just sayin', yo, that I got a job about two weeks ago where I get paid to do this shit...except I don't get to write about my fun experiences (Scott's Vegas birthday will be coming soon) or write reviews about current pop culture (Green Day and Eminem, just release your records now)...no, instead, I get to blog about car accidents.
Let's back up to December, when I was fully employed.
I sort of knew my impending doom at the Playhouse was about to come crashing down on me, so I hunted for a job on a website that shall not be named. I saw an ad for SEO content writing for some lawyer's website. I sent in my stuff, they gave me a test, and I guess I didn't pass because I never heard back from the guy -- it was M.A.P. himself who gave me the test, but more on him later.
Then, the firing. You know how that went.
For the next few months, day after day, I'd hunt for a job and occasionally the ad I applied to for the SEO content writing -- the did not change it up -- would show up and I would respond to it with the same materials I always did, which were not changed up except for the date.
But around mid-April, Scottie Rockstar came to visit me and Sara before the big birthday bash in Vegas (sorry, I mean "Marriage to Mary-Kate Olsen") and I got a call from the Law Offices of M.A.P. saying they had reviewed my materials and wanted to give me a writing test again. This was the fifth time I had applied and the second time I was testing.
I went into the whole thing with a "fuck you" attitude, because I assumed I wouldn't get the job. Adding much humor and snarkiness to my copy, I sent it back and waited for my unemployment check. But lo and behold, they wanted me to come in for an interview.
Dressing up in a suit and tie is usually pleasurable, but not when you go in for an interview in a stuffy office with only three windows. I talked with the editor of the blog, Kevin, and the other blogger, Adio, and they were really cool guys. Then came time for Mister Personal Injury Lawyer Himself, M.A.P., to come strolling in an offer a slice of advice. Several, in fact:
"Dreams don't end just because you work here."
"I think that you are an accomplished young man -- in fact, I know it."
"You want this job, then it is yours. But sleep on it."
Sleep on it? Basically M.A.P. told me to contact Kevin tomorrow if I wanted the job, after I had taken some time to think about it. What the hell...? After M.A.P. left, Kevin and Adio took me out in the hall and also, very strongly, said that I should think about this job...and if I really...really...really want it.
Now I know they were kind of saying, "RUN!"
Because what I have learned in the past ten days of my employment at The Law Offices of M.A.P. is that M.A.P. is an S.O.B. who is C.R.A.Z.Y (no acronym, just for fun). The copy I write is boring and there are ten a day, but I can handle it. What I can't handle is a guy who contradicts himself every other minute, makes a series of inappropriate sexual remarks to his employees, wants results on tasks that he gives no explanation for, and get grump when he actually must do lawyer work. And this is key: on my third day he told me, in as many words, to shut up and do my work. I later learned that on Mondays, M.A.P. prefers to read the paper front to back with the door closed. But that day, he had to work a case. And the blog? Well, he's more obsessed with getting the number one spot on Google than helping people in car accidents.
And this is where I work. Sitting in a closet, next to three computer servers, and a smelly refrigerator. I must write my ten copies a day (and M.A.P. knows everything because he keeps constant surveillance over all computer activity, which he reviews at the end of the day), say "hi" and "bye" to him at the end of the day, and make sure that all the keywords are there.
Let's back up to December, when I was fully employed.
I sort of knew my impending doom at the Playhouse was about to come crashing down on me, so I hunted for a job on a website that shall not be named. I saw an ad for SEO content writing for some lawyer's website. I sent in my stuff, they gave me a test, and I guess I didn't pass because I never heard back from the guy -- it was M.A.P. himself who gave me the test, but more on him later.
Then, the firing. You know how that went.
For the next few months, day after day, I'd hunt for a job and occasionally the ad I applied to for the SEO content writing -- the did not change it up -- would show up and I would respond to it with the same materials I always did, which were not changed up except for the date.
But around mid-April, Scottie Rockstar came to visit me and Sara before the big birthday bash in Vegas (sorry, I mean "Marriage to Mary-Kate Olsen") and I got a call from the Law Offices of M.A.P. saying they had reviewed my materials and wanted to give me a writing test again. This was the fifth time I had applied and the second time I was testing.
I went into the whole thing with a "fuck you" attitude, because I assumed I wouldn't get the job. Adding much humor and snarkiness to my copy, I sent it back and waited for my unemployment check. But lo and behold, they wanted me to come in for an interview.
Dressing up in a suit and tie is usually pleasurable, but not when you go in for an interview in a stuffy office with only three windows. I talked with the editor of the blog, Kevin, and the other blogger, Adio, and they were really cool guys. Then came time for Mister Personal Injury Lawyer Himself, M.A.P., to come strolling in an offer a slice of advice. Several, in fact:
"Dreams don't end just because you work here."
"I think that you are an accomplished young man -- in fact, I know it."
"You want this job, then it is yours. But sleep on it."
Sleep on it? Basically M.A.P. told me to contact Kevin tomorrow if I wanted the job, after I had taken some time to think about it. What the hell...? After M.A.P. left, Kevin and Adio took me out in the hall and also, very strongly, said that I should think about this job...and if I really...really...really want it.
Now I know they were kind of saying, "RUN!"
Because what I have learned in the past ten days of my employment at The Law Offices of M.A.P. is that M.A.P. is an S.O.B. who is C.R.A.Z.Y (no acronym, just for fun). The copy I write is boring and there are ten a day, but I can handle it. What I can't handle is a guy who contradicts himself every other minute, makes a series of inappropriate sexual remarks to his employees, wants results on tasks that he gives no explanation for, and get grump when he actually must do lawyer work. And this is key: on my third day he told me, in as many words, to shut up and do my work. I later learned that on Mondays, M.A.P. prefers to read the paper front to back with the door closed. But that day, he had to work a case. And the blog? Well, he's more obsessed with getting the number one spot on Google than helping people in car accidents.
And this is where I work. Sitting in a closet, next to three computer servers, and a smelly refrigerator. I must write my ten copies a day (and M.A.P. knows everything because he keeps constant surveillance over all computer activity, which he reviews at the end of the day), say "hi" and "bye" to him at the end of the day, and make sure that all the keywords are there.
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