Some Big Matzoh Balls

Growing up, I both dreaded and couldn't wait for the holiday of Passover. Dreaded because it meant that there would be a lot of waiting to eat food in front of us and for the next eight days, bread and it's family were off limits. I couldn't wait, however, for the Seder meal full of spring time treats: Gefilte fish, chopped liver, spicy horseradish, matzoh ball soup, and brisket. Plus, if you happened to be at Beth and Alan's Seder, you were treated to my aunt Marilyn's homemade chocolate matzoh and trust me, forty years in the desert was worth it.

I'll admit, though, that the past few years hadn't quite reached there peak. In college I never went back home for Passover -- usually it was too expensive, bad timing with finals, and too far. Besides, there wasn't a Seder per se. We used to attend our family friends, the Kramers', Seder when I was a kid. This Seder would go on late into the night, usually with my mom ushering us out the door after the actual meal (aka, "the halfway mark") had been served. We'd find the afikomen and then split, so I never got to have the last two cups of wine or wrap up properly. And I kind of regret it now. These were some of the best Passovers I ever had: with each and every plague animated for the guests, delicious Jew food prepared to perfection, and all of my family and a lot of my friends gathered in one place to celebrate the upcoming spring, a time of change and renewal, to grow as a person as you eased your way into the beautiful summer months ahead. Once the Kramers moved to Los Angeles, that all stopped.

We tried having Seders at our house, with my dad leading the meal and the only Kosher catering service in Salt Lake preparing the food. It was nice the first time -- short, sweet, and to the food -- but it lost a little bit of the meaning. Over the next few years, the quality of the food steadily declined, so it was like we were slave in Egypt all over again (I exaggerate, but still...) And, the opposite was true for the Brooklyn dinners I had: delicious food, lots of family, but with young ones around the Seder was usually cut short in religious content and reduced to a dinner, which was fine by me, but every year I wanted more from the Haggadah and I was denied.

This year, Pescah got her groove back.

Sam Carr invited me and Sara over to his parents house for Seder, Sara's first, the Carr's thirtieth, and my first one in a long time that felt just right. Sam's parents were so hospitable and generous to give us a place, among 35 guests, at their Seder table. The food was delicious, the prayers and liberal-feminist interpretations a delight (takes me back to so many arguments I witnessed as a kid about the "right of women" at the Seder table), and for my first time in San Diego, I really felt all together. Passover always does that. I had been having a rough day before hand, moping around the apartment, doing jack shit with my time, and feeling crappy. I talked on the phone with Gina, swapping woes between each other about what we were going to do with our life. I was particularly grumpy because I had not heard back from Sony, got my call denied somewhere else...but just as we were about to leave for the Passover festivities, I got a call from a potential employer asking me for an interview on Friday. This may be the one that changes everything, this may amount to nothing, but I won't be swayed in the fact that Passover is the time of year to grow and change and get one step closer to the person you truly want to be.

Now, if I could just have a cookie...

Craig

Excuse me, Mister Craig, but please don't dismiss
My comments about your site and your infamous list
I love the for sale, for rent, and just lookin' sections
And I would surely, truly miss the missed connections
But one column in particular
Is where I'm a stickler
Day after day I get my hours robbed
When I go on ya site lookin' for a job.

(the hook):
Wake up in the AM
For another day of mayhem
Everybody's hirin'
And it ain't my lack of tryin'
This ain't a hate rap
Perhaps it's a pissed song
I'm just sayin' fuck Craig
And the list he road in on

Nearly every type of position that's under the sun
And how many call you back? - Well, uh, none...
Got the denial to be a clerk who can file
Dial tones to answer company phones
Connection was chopped for the sandwich shop
Plus, they say I'm under-qualified for slinging a mop.
Isn't like they said "no"
But they sure didn't say "yes"
So I sit at my computer and I guess and I guess

(the hook)

Check the inbox again
Copy Paste and then send
Another resume
Try another day
This shit's just like crime
'Cause the bitch just don't pay
So, c'mon, Craig, what the hell's the deal?
I got a great resume
But can't eat paper for a meal
Every time I look for a job
Feel like I'm gettin' takin' by a swindler
Who made your list the shit?
Last time I checked you ain't Schindler.

(the hook)

Sorry for the ranting and raving
I'm just sick of slaving
Over my keys and my wires
For companies without hires
But don't worry, Craig
We comin' to break your legs
And I'm talkin' real life, man
Do you see a fuckin' stage?
Give away free jobs
To anyone who beats you with a mallet
Takes a dump on your face
Makes it look like Gene Shallot.
It's a life time opportunity
Now we open for business
Send your info to the fake address
'Cause you wouldn't wanna miss this.

Waitin'

Right now, I’m playing the waiting game, a game I’ve been playing for some months now. Waiting for a job, waiting for life’s next chapter to unveil itself to me, waiting for Passover to start, waiting to go to Vegas for Scott’s birthday, waiting stop waiting.

And in this state of wait – ha? – that clearly resembles the place you should not go in Dr. Suess’s Oh The Places You’ll Go, I find myself somewhat lacking of information about what takes up my days. Basically, this is an apology to the blog and readers alike: I wish I had something new and exciting to report on each and every day. But after waking up, writing, exercising, and then coming home to read, watch something, or write some more, not a whole lot going on

But while I wait, let me put the most up-to-date accomplishments of a guy who sits around on his ass most of the day trying to find ways to fill it.

SO SAY WE ALL: Justin and I built two lighting boxes from some old drawers and about a hundred dollars worth of equipment from Home Depot. They are awesome. We are also in line for the use of free law services to turn the organization into a 501c3 and make sure that our little baby don’t get taxed too hard. Rehearsals for the “Mortal Enemies” show went well, though finding two more storytellers for the show is proving difficult, and we are getting set to drop bombs on April 25th. Speaking of bombs – like the logo?

That’s just a sneak peak at what is yet to come.

WRITINGS: Finished a new draft of the Staten Island installment of THE BOROUGH SERIES. It’s now called Our Lady of Staten Island and has been completely revamped from the thesis project it was exactly one year ago today *sniff*. I like it. I think it is a stronger piece than it was before and can really do some damage. As for The Rounds, my show I’m writing with Katie, I got through a new draft that was an improvement from the last one, but still not quite the level we want. It’s hard to get the humor across while still showing that a dramatic situation is taking place. Jaya passed on several competitions to send it off to, but I need a least a strong third draft or decently put-together fourth draft to even think about doing that.

JOBS: Heard an answer from Sony Online Entertainment of: “We’d love to hire you…not sure if we have the money…” which is great and simultaneously confusing news. The job is mine, the money we are still iffy on. But I hope I get it. I had a great interview and a solid resume and think that the place would be a great fit for me. However, working for free kind of defeats the purpose. Should Sony decide they are lacking funds (and I pray to God they aren’t), I heard back from a guy on Craigslist (first time! Ever!) about working for the Cross Fire Protection agency. Not ideal for a career path, but a good place to work and great hours. As of yet, though, it remains uncertain whether I have the position or the job. See the waiting…?


SPRING APPROACHES: This is my favorite time of year and it is a great time to be in San Diego. Warm, sunny, and buzzing with life. I always felt that around this time, with Passover, especially, I was able to shed some skin and mature a little bit in character. By the leaving part of the old me behind and opening myself up to further develop myself, I am always rewarded with a rejuvenating sense of self-worth. It doesn’t last long, but it is sweet when it comes. That I am very much looking forward to.

And now, please wait. The blog will re-start momentarily.