Loads of it, actually. You are welcome to borrow any of the time that I have to use because I really don’t know what to do with my overabundance of the so-called “fourth dimension” and it’s getting harder and harder to fill the ever growing void.
What makes it worse is that I’m waiting for answers at the same time that I try to fill my day with artistic and literary pursuits. The answers are coming from a higher authority. Not God, quite. Not our newly appointed President (though it was nice to have the time off to watch last week’s inauguration AND feel like you were one of the people he was directly talking to). They are coming from two places in particular about certain opportunities that I have been waiting for, one for almost a year’s time. But now I’m getting cold feet to fess up to what they are because I know the moment that I reveal what they are it will ultimately jinx their reality coming into fruition. So wait with me, won’t you? Together we can go over the to-list of time passers that I have recently taken up:
• Finished reading Dream Boogie: The Triumph of Sam Cooke and I don’t think I’m going to be reading a biography of that length again any time soon
• Completed the long-awaited pilot episode for “The Rounds”, a television series I created with Katie about our time as RAs at 80 Lafayette Street
• Sent out copies and greetings to all of the people who most the characters from “The Rounds” is based upon
• Speaking of Katie, she comes into San Diego on Friday…make a mental note to clean up the place and stock up on some mutually agreed upon snacks
• Watched Brotherhood, Season 2. Really good show, really well done, but still not The Sopranos.
• Finished reading The Pleasure of My Company by Steve Martin. Not great, not horrible, but just the right kind of book to read in a day
• Read two scripts for La Jolla and did the coverage on them. One was an adaptation of a Gogol short story and it was awesome. The other made me sick to my stomach.
• Wrote four people, including my grandmother, correspondence via what is now referred to as “snail-mail”
• Waiting around for a package from UPS which is never really that much fun because you literally have to wait for them or else they cannot get into the building to deliver your package
• Attended Melissa’s birthday party at Imperial House and felt great upon arriving because I walked there all the way from my apartment
• Drinking and writing with Justin because it makes me feel like I’m being productive during two activities that suck to do alone
• Long for New York City
• Long for Sara to come back
• Wait for the answers that I know if I’d just stop thinking about would be a pleasant surprise and reach beyond the realm of fantasy
I’m sure there is more. Just to make it clear I almost wrote “making an inane blog entry” as the final bulletin, stopping myself short of feeling profoundly Meta. Or perhaps not…
Clockwatching resumed.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
TV Math +/-
Things are brewing right now, but I don’t want to jump the gun on anything at the moment. When I have answers this blog will have a more day-in-life entry. For now, I’m a bum and you are too if you are reading this so pass the Cheetos and fluff the pillow on your favorite collapsing Ikea bed because it’s time for television math (quick disclaimer: there will be no actual math used, so don’t freak out there Mr. Pibb).
January is the new September in the television world. During the Golden Age of Television, which I’m told turned a rusted shade of bronze at the end of last year, television got smart and instead of rushing production on some shows during the May to September break, they took more time to develop the series seasons and then premiere them in January without taking a week off. These reviews will cover new shows, returning show premieres, and shows picking up from holiday hiatus.
(+) to Friday Night Lights (Season 3 Premiere) and Big Love (Season 3 Premiere): my god, I could barely contain my excitement when the opening for both of these shows started playing back to me on my television screen. FNL started some great story lines, continued with the fantastic characterizations of people who are more than the football games they revolve around, and still has a great sense of low-key humor. Right now, it’s top of my list. Then you have the show that keeps getting better and better with each episode. Last night’s Big Love premiere was so dark, riveting, and fascinating that it gave Sara a panic attack twenty minutes into the episode. Glad to see that the potential 4th wife is still in the mix, as is the Weber Gaming story arch (kudos to my mentor and friend, Melanie Marnich, who’s on the writing staff this season). Final tally = Utah and Texas are the two best fictionalized places to be watching at the moment.
(-) to The United States of Tara (Series Premiere): as the opening credits were rolling, Steven Spielberg’s name surprised me and Diablo Cody’s did not. I had forgotten that she’d pinched a deal with ShowTime after winning her Oscar for best screenplay (OHMYBLOG!!!)…uh…back in March of 2008. Less than a year after Juno’s devil baby dropped into our theaters our homes are invaded with something almost worse. Toni Collette is a top-notch actress and I think John Corbett is long overdue for being a leading man…but not for this. Tara is a suburban mom dealing with the issues of her family and life…by snapping into multiple personalities. Okay, as amateur multiple personality disorder is I’ll go with it; what I won’t go with is that her entire family accepts it! They talk to the personalities, ranking them according to favorites, and going about their lives like it ain’t no big thing. Stop right there—no, no, no, no, no. Her husband (“I’ve been living with this condition for 17 years”) would have flown the coop a long time ago. The kids should not be this well adjusted and the well-groomed son character should not be the most interesting person in the series. And the worst part? Next week’s previews show the family talking about how it’s healthy for Tara to go off her medication so that she can let these characters out in order for them to let loose, hoping they can get it out of there system. Final tally: If I can refrain from ripping my eyeballs out I’m giving this two more episodes before calling it quits and never going back.
(/) to 24 (Season 7 Premiere), The Office (middle of Season 5), and Flight of the Conchords (Season 2 Premiere): I’m really rallying for these shows to get good again, not the dripping comb-over that we’ve seen recently. 24, I only put you on this list because I’m conflicted: last season sucked for the final 8 hours, but the movie 24: Redemption was so kick ass, and now I’m on the fence. So far so good—especially the third episode, 10:00 A.M. to 11:00 A.M.—just no more Audrey with amnesia, please. As for The Office…I haven’t lost faith that you are one of the smartest shows on television. Let’s see it now. I think most of the episode this week was eh-inducing until the end sequence between Andy and Dwight. Will I ever stop watching you, Dunder Mifflin employees? Probably not, but don’t make my viewing in vein (because honestly I’m going to start telling people 30 Rock is the funniest thing on right now and I’ll be speaking the truth!). Speaking of funny and truth…well, Flight of the Conchords didn’t really soar last night on their return. Some funny moments, a little too much story…if that’s possible, and no good songs except for the toothpaste jingle that didn’t last long. I guess that’s what really irked me—the songs that did get played weren’t that creative and one of them was playing over the credits. Plus, the music videos look professional now instead of homemade. But y’know what? I’ll take some blame for this. By now it is no secret that I love this show, but I was late to the party and didn’t discover the most beautiful girl in the room until it came out to DVD. So when nobody was watching was when it was golden, but as Sara pointed out, “the second they get popular they get money and where’s the funny?” I’ll make you a deal, Bret and Jermaine, I’ll keep watching your show when it’s supposed to air, no DVR or internet downloads, to keep ratings high if you go back to making sure I’m making a lasagna for one forever. Final tally = Don’t die on me now! I’ve stuck with you this far! I don’t know what I’d do without you…so don’t…go…towards…that…white…light…DAMNIT!
January is the new September in the television world. During the Golden Age of Television, which I’m told turned a rusted shade of bronze at the end of last year, television got smart and instead of rushing production on some shows during the May to September break, they took more time to develop the series seasons and then premiere them in January without taking a week off. These reviews will cover new shows, returning show premieres, and shows picking up from holiday hiatus.
(+) to Friday Night Lights (Season 3 Premiere) and Big Love (Season 3 Premiere): my god, I could barely contain my excitement when the opening for both of these shows started playing back to me on my television screen. FNL started some great story lines, continued with the fantastic characterizations of people who are more than the football games they revolve around, and still has a great sense of low-key humor. Right now, it’s top of my list. Then you have the show that keeps getting better and better with each episode. Last night’s Big Love premiere was so dark, riveting, and fascinating that it gave Sara a panic attack twenty minutes into the episode. Glad to see that the potential 4th wife is still in the mix, as is the Weber Gaming story arch (kudos to my mentor and friend, Melanie Marnich, who’s on the writing staff this season). Final tally = Utah and Texas are the two best fictionalized places to be watching at the moment.
(-) to The United States of Tara (Series Premiere): as the opening credits were rolling, Steven Spielberg’s name surprised me and Diablo Cody’s did not. I had forgotten that she’d pinched a deal with ShowTime after winning her Oscar for best screenplay (OHMYBLOG!!!)…uh…back in March of 2008. Less than a year after Juno’s devil baby dropped into our theaters our homes are invaded with something almost worse. Toni Collette is a top-notch actress and I think John Corbett is long overdue for being a leading man…but not for this. Tara is a suburban mom dealing with the issues of her family and life…by snapping into multiple personalities. Okay, as amateur multiple personality disorder is I’ll go with it; what I won’t go with is that her entire family accepts it! They talk to the personalities, ranking them according to favorites, and going about their lives like it ain’t no big thing. Stop right there—no, no, no, no, no. Her husband (“I’ve been living with this condition for 17 years”) would have flown the coop a long time ago. The kids should not be this well adjusted and the well-groomed son character should not be the most interesting person in the series. And the worst part? Next week’s previews show the family talking about how it’s healthy for Tara to go off her medication so that she can let these characters out in order for them to let loose, hoping they can get it out of there system. Final tally: If I can refrain from ripping my eyeballs out I’m giving this two more episodes before calling it quits and never going back.
(/) to 24 (Season 7 Premiere), The Office (middle of Season 5), and Flight of the Conchords (Season 2 Premiere): I’m really rallying for these shows to get good again, not the dripping comb-over that we’ve seen recently. 24, I only put you on this list because I’m conflicted: last season sucked for the final 8 hours, but the movie 24: Redemption was so kick ass, and now I’m on the fence. So far so good—especially the third episode, 10:00 A.M. to 11:00 A.M.—just no more Audrey with amnesia, please. As for The Office…I haven’t lost faith that you are one of the smartest shows on television. Let’s see it now. I think most of the episode this week was eh-inducing until the end sequence between Andy and Dwight. Will I ever stop watching you, Dunder Mifflin employees? Probably not, but don’t make my viewing in vein (because honestly I’m going to start telling people 30 Rock is the funniest thing on right now and I’ll be speaking the truth!). Speaking of funny and truth…well, Flight of the Conchords didn’t really soar last night on their return. Some funny moments, a little too much story…if that’s possible, and no good songs except for the toothpaste jingle that didn’t last long. I guess that’s what really irked me—the songs that did get played weren’t that creative and one of them was playing over the credits. Plus, the music videos look professional now instead of homemade. But y’know what? I’ll take some blame for this. By now it is no secret that I love this show, but I was late to the party and didn’t discover the most beautiful girl in the room until it came out to DVD. So when nobody was watching was when it was golden, but as Sara pointed out, “the second they get popular they get money and where’s the funny?” I’ll make you a deal, Bret and Jermaine, I’ll keep watching your show when it’s supposed to air, no DVR or internet downloads, to keep ratings high if you go back to making sure I’m making a lasagna for one forever. Final tally = Don’t die on me now! I’ve stuck with you this far! I don’t know what I’d do without you…so don’t…go…towards…that…white…light…DAMNIT!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
KJOB 101 FM—Top 5 Songs To Listen To While Unemployed
5) “The Way I Are” — Timberland Feat. Keri Hilson
Basically the song to dance to when you’ve just found out about your termination, your hopes are soaring with the mentality that “I can do sooooo much better than those lametards” and you just gotta go out to the club with your girl posse to shake off the blues. At the same time this is happening, heed the warning of Timberland’s vocals, because, you see, it’s also a cautionary tale.
Key lyrics:
I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers…
…I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
4) “Inner City Pressure” — Flight of the Conchords
Take it from the duo who knows it best: Jermaine doesn’t seem to care about finding a job, Bret only rises through the ranks of the sign-holding industry, and their band makes little to no money touring Queens. Do they give up? (Spoiler: no, they do not). For those of us who feel our life is a constant montage in a film or music video, KJOB dedicates this one to you.
Key lyrics:
You don't measure up to the expectation.
When you're unemployed, there's no vacation.
No one cares, no one sympathizes.
You just stay home and play synthesizers.
3) “Rock Bottom” — Eminem
The poor man’s poor man who once knew the life of a poor man (until he found his calling during something called “8 Mile”). Eminem has always had the ability to exacerbate a bad situation into a full blown worst case scenario…but in the best way possible. Listening to this song you might actually feel that your situation of being unemployed isn’t as bad as the one Slim Shady paints.
Key lyrics:
My life is full of empty promises
And broken dreams
I'm hoping things will look up
But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished
And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day
But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play
Cause when we die we know we’re all going the same way
2) “Spaceship” — Kanye West Feat. GLC and Consequence
Back in the day, Kanye had no fly gear, no trend setting threads, and no career as a successful rap artist. Plus, none of his friends had any of that either. Though Kanye’s day has come to fly high above the rest of us sunk in debt we can honestly say he earned it. Even if he didn’t, he’d say he did, and that can just be about enough. So here’s song to all of us who should have dropped out of college and followed Kanye’s path.
Key lyrics:
I remember havin' to take the dollar cab
Comin' home real late at night
Standin' on my feet all damn day
Tryin' to make this thing right
And havin' one of my co-workers say "Yo you look just like
This kid I seen in the old Busta Rhymes video the other night"
1) “Career Opportunities” — The Clash
They grew up during the London trash strikes, surrounded by poverty, and living in bombed out tenements. Barely knowing how to play their instruments or what they were going to do with their lives, The Clash proudly raised one finger to the establishment and never looked back. Maybe not the absolute best song about not having a job, but an anthem for anyone who never wanted one in the first place.
Key lyrics:
The offered me the office, offered me the shop
They said I'd better take anything they'd got
Do you wanna make tea at the BBC?
Do you really wanna be a cop?
Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock
Career opportunity, the ones that never knock
Basically the song to dance to when you’ve just found out about your termination, your hopes are soaring with the mentality that “I can do sooooo much better than those lametards” and you just gotta go out to the club with your girl posse to shake off the blues. At the same time this is happening, heed the warning of Timberland’s vocals, because, you see, it’s also a cautionary tale.
Key lyrics:
I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers…
…I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
4) “Inner City Pressure” — Flight of the Conchords
Take it from the duo who knows it best: Jermaine doesn’t seem to care about finding a job, Bret only rises through the ranks of the sign-holding industry, and their band makes little to no money touring Queens. Do they give up? (Spoiler: no, they do not). For those of us who feel our life is a constant montage in a film or music video, KJOB dedicates this one to you.
Key lyrics:
You don't measure up to the expectation.
When you're unemployed, there's no vacation.
No one cares, no one sympathizes.
You just stay home and play synthesizers.
3) “Rock Bottom” — Eminem
The poor man’s poor man who once knew the life of a poor man (until he found his calling during something called “8 Mile”). Eminem has always had the ability to exacerbate a bad situation into a full blown worst case scenario…but in the best way possible. Listening to this song you might actually feel that your situation of being unemployed isn’t as bad as the one Slim Shady paints.
Key lyrics:
My life is full of empty promises
And broken dreams
I'm hoping things will look up
But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished
And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day
But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play
Cause when we die we know we’re all going the same way
2) “Spaceship” — Kanye West Feat. GLC and Consequence
Back in the day, Kanye had no fly gear, no trend setting threads, and no career as a successful rap artist. Plus, none of his friends had any of that either. Though Kanye’s day has come to fly high above the rest of us sunk in debt we can honestly say he earned it. Even if he didn’t, he’d say he did, and that can just be about enough. So here’s song to all of us who should have dropped out of college and followed Kanye’s path.
Key lyrics:
I remember havin' to take the dollar cab
Comin' home real late at night
Standin' on my feet all damn day
Tryin' to make this thing right
And havin' one of my co-workers say "Yo you look just like
This kid I seen in the old Busta Rhymes video the other night"
1) “Career Opportunities” — The Clash
They grew up during the London trash strikes, surrounded by poverty, and living in bombed out tenements. Barely knowing how to play their instruments or what they were going to do with their lives, The Clash proudly raised one finger to the establishment and never looked back. Maybe not the absolute best song about not having a job, but an anthem for anyone who never wanted one in the first place.
Key lyrics:
The offered me the office, offered me the shop
They said I'd better take anything they'd got
Do you wanna make tea at the BBC?
Do you really wanna be a cop?
Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock
Career opportunity, the ones that never knock
Monday, January 5, 2009
Happy New Year...
…you’re fired.
I come into the office on a Monday morning, having awoken next to my beautiful girlfriend in our new home (the “our” being new, not the “home), and am bracing myself for the hell day of arrivals with the new cast we have coming to the theater. Past hell days of arrival have included me being chewed out for following directions as I was told (strange, no?) so I was determined to make this day a good one. I have only three arrivals, two on the same flight, and about five hours of downtime in between them both. Going about with normal company management assistant stuff I am beckoned into the office across the hall by my supervisor. “Can I talk to you?” she questions, her voice sounding sweetly tart like candy but the words soaked in saltiness like sardines. This is the very same question that on two former occasions as led to serious talks about unserious matters. Only today, it’s very serious. I come into the room, take a seat at the table of dread, and am told that today is doom’s day: I’ve been terminated.
Jesus Christ…and things were going so well for so long. Literally, it’s all in the timing because Sara and I have just been able to establish residency in the same city for a week—all due to this amazing job I got way back when—so fate must reside with me getting the ugly side of Two Face’s coin. Virginal at best with the situation, I take it in stride, but my boss continues to hammer is home: “cut backs…luck to have theater still open…I don’t know if I’ll have my job…I’ll be working more for the same pay…” and on and on and on. This makes me want to scream, to tear my hair out at every strand, to completely lose it with a hoarse cry, “This isn’t about you! It’s about me! All right? Me! You still have a fucking job! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!?!” Not a word of this escapes my lips. They’ve given me a week (not two weeks or until the end of the month) to clear out my stuff and say good-bye.
The option was given to take a day’s pay and go home, but I ended up logging 13 hours so I’ll have some overtime coming to me for the day. On second thought, I kind of wish I had just gone home. It was very strange picking up actors and designers, doing the whole chit-chat deal, and realizing that it’s all obsolete because in a week it won’t matter. I’ll be that kid…oh, shoot, what was his name? Y’know—he picked me up from the airport, took me grocery shopping, got me a bike, a cutting board, and fixed my internet. Jay? Jay sounds right, doesn’t it? Yeah…Jay…that was it…
I’m just dreading tomorrow morning at the company breakfast when we do the oh-so-unpopular tradition of everyone going around saying “Hi, my name is _______ “ and “I work in __________ at the Playhouse.” What am I going to say? I’ll probably fake a smile and just give them my title. I really don’t want to put on the façade. I’m incredibly tired of sacrificing myself for little or no return, especially in the dignity department. But at the same time I don’t want to leave. I want to work at the Playhouse, I want to be a part of their team and do amazing works of theater. Guess the feeling is not mutual on their end.
I was angry, then I was disappointed, and now I’ve finally accepted the reality of my situation. Mark came up to me and without a hesitation on his breath said: “I just wanna let you know I think this is bullshit.” Mark and I have always been the guys around the office. But that was the first time I saw him stick up for me as a friend and I really appreciated it. Exit interview on Thursday, last day on Saturday, and…the hunt begins…
I come into the office on a Monday morning, having awoken next to my beautiful girlfriend in our new home (the “our” being new, not the “home), and am bracing myself for the hell day of arrivals with the new cast we have coming to the theater. Past hell days of arrival have included me being chewed out for following directions as I was told (strange, no?) so I was determined to make this day a good one. I have only three arrivals, two on the same flight, and about five hours of downtime in between them both. Going about with normal company management assistant stuff I am beckoned into the office across the hall by my supervisor. “Can I talk to you?” she questions, her voice sounding sweetly tart like candy but the words soaked in saltiness like sardines. This is the very same question that on two former occasions as led to serious talks about unserious matters. Only today, it’s very serious. I come into the room, take a seat at the table of dread, and am told that today is doom’s day: I’ve been terminated.
Jesus Christ…and things were going so well for so long. Literally, it’s all in the timing because Sara and I have just been able to establish residency in the same city for a week—all due to this amazing job I got way back when—so fate must reside with me getting the ugly side of Two Face’s coin. Virginal at best with the situation, I take it in stride, but my boss continues to hammer is home: “cut backs…luck to have theater still open…I don’t know if I’ll have my job…I’ll be working more for the same pay…” and on and on and on. This makes me want to scream, to tear my hair out at every strand, to completely lose it with a hoarse cry, “This isn’t about you! It’s about me! All right? Me! You still have a fucking job! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!?!” Not a word of this escapes my lips. They’ve given me a week (not two weeks or until the end of the month) to clear out my stuff and say good-bye.
The option was given to take a day’s pay and go home, but I ended up logging 13 hours so I’ll have some overtime coming to me for the day. On second thought, I kind of wish I had just gone home. It was very strange picking up actors and designers, doing the whole chit-chat deal, and realizing that it’s all obsolete because in a week it won’t matter. I’ll be that kid…oh, shoot, what was his name? Y’know—he picked me up from the airport, took me grocery shopping, got me a bike, a cutting board, and fixed my internet. Jay? Jay sounds right, doesn’t it? Yeah…Jay…that was it…
I’m just dreading tomorrow morning at the company breakfast when we do the oh-so-unpopular tradition of everyone going around saying “Hi, my name is _______ “ and “I work in __________ at the Playhouse.” What am I going to say? I’ll probably fake a smile and just give them my title. I really don’t want to put on the façade. I’m incredibly tired of sacrificing myself for little or no return, especially in the dignity department. But at the same time I don’t want to leave. I want to work at the Playhouse, I want to be a part of their team and do amazing works of theater. Guess the feeling is not mutual on their end.
I was angry, then I was disappointed, and now I’ve finally accepted the reality of my situation. Mark came up to me and without a hesitation on his breath said: “I just wanna let you know I think this is bullshit.” Mark and I have always been the guys around the office. But that was the first time I saw him stick up for me as a friend and I really appreciated it. Exit interview on Thursday, last day on Saturday, and…the hunt begins…
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