Craig

Excuse me, Mister Craig, but please don't dismiss
My comments about your site and your infamous list
I love the for sale, for rent, and just lookin' sections
And I would surely, truly miss the missed connections
But one column in particular
Is where I'm a stickler
Day after day I get my hours robbed
When I go on ya site lookin' for a job.

(the hook):
Wake up in the AM
For another day of mayhem
Everybody's hirin'
And it ain't my lack of tryin'
This ain't a hate rap
Perhaps it's a pissed song
I'm just sayin' fuck Craig
And the list he road in on

Nearly every type of position that's under the sun
And how many call you back? - Well, uh, none...
Got the denial to be a clerk who can file
Dial tones to answer company phones
Connection was chopped for the sandwich shop
Plus, they say I'm under-qualified for slinging a mop.
Isn't like they said "no"
But they sure didn't say "yes"
So I sit at my computer and I guess and I guess

(the hook)

Check the inbox again
Copy Paste and then send
Another resume
Try another day
This shit's just like crime
'Cause the bitch just don't pay
So, c'mon, Craig, what the hell's the deal?
I got a great resume
But can't eat paper for a meal
Every time I look for a job
Feel like I'm gettin' takin' by a swindler
Who made your list the shit?
Last time I checked you ain't Schindler.

(the hook)

Sorry for the ranting and raving
I'm just sick of slaving
Over my keys and my wires
For companies without hires
But don't worry, Craig
We comin' to break your legs
And I'm talkin' real life, man
Do you see a fuckin' stage?
Give away free jobs
To anyone who beats you with a mallet
Takes a dump on your face
Makes it look like Gene Shallot.
It's a life time opportunity
Now we open for business
Send your info to the fake address
'Cause you wouldn't wanna miss this.